Only God: Part 2

You might be wondering why there is a Part 1 and 2 to this post update and the best and ONLY answer I can give is GOD. GOD has done some many amazing things here recently, yes I know, every thing God does is amazing, but as I noted in my previous post God takes our specific little details serious. Though He also likes to give us sweet little surprises and overwhelm us with His goodness! For those who are curious of examples (I am mostly giving examples because it is fun way to actually lead into what I am going to say ;)), sometimes God likes to surprise barren women with miracles, maybe a patient goes to the doctor and learns that they don't need that surgery that was going to cost them a fortune, or in my case God decides to surprise me with my Uncle I haven't seen in 17 years but looks JUST like my Daddy. It was so beautiful and has to be the sweetest gift I have ever received and I am still floored to this day.

My Dad died when I was 6, and I don't remember much about him except for how hard he and those around him fought the terrible cancer that took his life. People often ask me if I remember him, but I don't really and that is an insecurity I have to wrestle with. What are Dad's like, what is their purpose, and did my Dad fulfill his purpose while he was on Earth? I am very thankful that God has provided me with some amazing Godly men who have played different father roles in my life and been there to help me in times I needed it most, which is important for any child and coming adult. Fathers play a huge role in each person's life.

This past Sunday, June 5th, we spoke at my home church. I was super excited, because as my pastor pointed out that is the place that I finished growing up. That church has been and will always be my second home. As we arrived I kept myself as calm as possible allowing most of the excitement to radiate off of those who have kept up with our journey and were just as excited to see us; that was super hard though. Before church had started I had hugged so many necks, really I had squeezed the life out of some people, there was some tearing up, and a few quiet squeals.
My best friend had gone to talk to those in the lobby, my husband was checking out the mic and wires coming out of his shirt, and me and my mom just sat quietly waiting for a topic to come to mind so we could talk. I randomly decided to turn around and my brain that was already overwhelmed along with my heart nearly burst, because walking in the sanctuary was my cousin from my Dad's side of the family that I haven't seen in almost 17 years... since my Dad passed away. I also saw out of the corner of my eye was my Uncle.... and he looked just like my Daddy. Needless to say it took all of the service for me to really be able to look him in the eye.

God had brought me my Dad. I mean, he wasn't my actual Dad, but he looked just like him, may have spoken like him, but he definitely smiled just like him.

During worship I turned around to see him because I wanted to smile at and see if he would smile back. I did and he was already smiling. Alright God..........
I later had to get up on stage to share my part of our mission and time in the Middle East. I kept my eyes on the audience the entire time pacing back and forth to add more charisma. I looked to my family and he was smiling and even tearing up some. ........God........ You're making this hard, but I love it so much.
Finally after church and speaking with church family and friends I came to him and my mom, who by the way was just as shocked as I was with this visit from them, but definitely not upset by it.
He finally asked me if I was still scared of him, I laughed and told him I was never scared, but that he looked so much like Daddy and it was like God brought him there today so that I could have my Daddy with me.

Guys, God brought me my Daddy. That is how I am viewing this and God is allowing me to.

I began to cry when I told him that and my Uncle took me into a hug and we cried sweet reunion tears, and held each other. I imagined that I was hugging my Daddy and it helped that he was holding me just as tight as I was holding him. I didn't want to let him go and I can't wait to stop in Florida on my way out of the country to see him again.



This post was a little more personal than some, but my second goal in this blog is to share with you what God is doing in me and how His calling on my life is changing me.

Sunday, June 5th, on my husband's birthday, in my home church, I got to see a glimpse of my Dad, AND because God cares about every little detail (though I did not pray for this event), my Uncle told me after we hugged that he was so proud of me.

 He said, "I am so proud of you." Those very words are the words I have always longed to hear from my Dad.

ONLY GOD, can do the things I have seen done and I cannot praise Him enough for how He has planned out this trip to the states. He is good, good Father.

Job 23:10-12

"Because He knows the road on which I travel, when He had tested me, I’ll come out like gold. My feet stay where His footsteps lead; I kept on His pathway and haven’t turned aside. I haven’t wandered away from the commands that He has spoken; I’ve treasured what He has said more than my own meals.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for well-being, and not for calamity, in order to give you a future and a hope.

Also, guys, remember that faith the size of mustard seeds can move mountains. 

My Uncle and I (June 5, 2016)

Me and My Daddy (only picture that I own)

Only God: Part 1

My one big fear of returning to the states was losing everything I had gained while being overseas. I don't recognize who I am compared to the woman that went there in the beginning of August 2015. So much growth and maturing in my heart and in my mind has taken place. My big fear only grew when my faith started to shake and I could spiritually see this mountain side getting closer and closer to us and God wasn't budging or doing anything to help us. Was I supposed to climb it when I get there, was God going to "come in like a wrecking ball" and do that amazing, miraculous thing that God does? I got anxious that He had walked away, even though that is silly. God doesn't walk away from us, but He sure knows how to let us feel like it. Or do we just not trust Him enough? Hmm.  

My faith got shaken, but I still believed, but I was nervous of what He might be asking us to do, but I trusted Him, but my heart had its desires, but God had and still has a plan far greater than I could ever imagine. Every little detail is SO important to Him, when we make it known. 

*Here's a new lesson I am learning -- SPEAK life into every little detail.* 

He did it though, He kept His promise, He finished the work and HE met the desires of our hearts. Ephesians 3:20, Psalm 37:4

So much has gone on to get us where we are... We made it to the states!!! We are here, visiting, catching up with friends and family, working, and sharing about what God is doing in the area of the Middle East that we are serving in.

Over the past few weeks I have seen God move in ways I have never seen Him move, but ways I knew He could. I just simply haven’t seen it done before. But as a dear friend reminded me, Luke 1:37, Nothing is impossible with God. In that particular context God had just impregnated Mary with Jesus. Now, you may be thinking “Yeah, so He helped her get pregnant with a baby that would one day save the world.” Let me correct you, no, He didn’t. Mary didn’t want to be pregnant. She was about 14 years old and lived in a culture that is NOT accepting of pregnancies outside of marriage. Mary wasn’t married, she was only engaged. Along with having babies outside of marriage, it was extremely haram (meaning wrong in Arabic) to have sex outside of marriage. If you live in America then let me just say that we as Americans do a lot of haram things according to the Bible… biblically correct, not politically. So with all this being said, if God can get a 14 year old girl who lives in an area where it is culturally not acceptable to have even sex outside of marriage (because she could be shunned and even killed) pregnant WITH THE SON OF GOD at that, who are we to say that He can’t do the unimaginable like getting a couple of plane tickets? My GOD can do anything He wants and He does… if we allow Him to.

God provided everything we needed and did so with a week to get ready and we even got to bring a friend with us because God has provided for her in amazing ways as well.

FAITH. It is so much more important than we actually think. I look back over the last few weeks and I am in awe. If for even a second I had let that tiny thread of faith I was holding onto so tightly go… would I be home for 5 weeks? Guys, I am serious… in this blog I try to be as transparent as possible so you all can understand the importance of faith, but a lot of you will never get the big picture. I have stared faith directly in the eye with it looking at me with so much intimidation and had to choose whether to take it in knowing God was going to water that seed, or coward out and get my one foot I put into darkness back into the light where I can see what God is doing. Over and over again, since Christmas I have had to make that decision, but I can tell you now that God can do ANYTHING. He has never NOT done something that He knows we need Him to do. He KNEW we needed to come for the summer, and not just to raise support. He also knew we needed to be refreshed by our families and church families. He knew we needed to see Him and also have our love for HIS holy land grow even more. I want so bad to be back, but I know God is going to do some amazing things this month and next as we share our journey over the past 10 months and prepare for the kid’s camp we are going to do when we return.

The story of our plane tickets and how we got them…

We began praying in January that God would begin providing our way home, financially speaking. We let our prayer groups know what was going on and how they could pray. We spoke to those who had been supporting and began setting up fundraisers. Nothing was working out. Our friends couldn’t help us, our fundraiser fell through before it ever started, and we were not getting anywhere with planning. It seemed as though God had long closed the door of us coming home for the summer and it was only March. I remember telling a few friends while still praying and trying to give it all to God and waiting for Him to open up an opportunity that it felt as if we were in a car looking straight ahead at this massive mountain and going at a pretty decent speed towards it. I prayed, and read the word, and sought counsel and encouragement because I needed to know what was I doing wrong, or least not doing right. Why wasn’t God answering us and giving us some type of lead way with what to do. We weren’t getting anything. He wasn't speaking to us, and that my friend is a heart breaking feeling. My husband began having panic attacks and I began to feel unworthy, but we still chose God, mostly because we didn’t have anything but ourselves to choose. We were (and still are) leaning completely on God. Let me break this down for you, ALL WE HAVE IS GOD. That is it, no materialistic items, no financial riches, no rich families or friends.... GOD, that's it.

May came and every one’s questions began to get annoying. Family, friends, everyone was asking the same questions, “Are you going/coming home for the summer?” “Do you have your plane tickets yet?” “What are you guys doing for the summer?” We had begun making plans, because faith without actions is dead. We had some churches lined up and preparing to talk to, we had jobs ready, we had things we wanted to do and people we wanted to see… we were ready and at this point we had given the issue completely to God and just waiting for Him (but not so patiently).

May 27th came -- that morning Phillip went out to a grocery store to get a few items to make me a breakfast in bed, because ladies I married up. He ran into some of American teacher friends and one began to ask about our issues with getting home and before they went their separate ways the friend told Phillip to let her know if we needed help. Later that evening we got the random idea from a friend to look at tickets again, and we found some for a VERY cheap amount, round trip. We reserved them until we could pay and 30 minutes later we started the process to book the flights......... "FLIGHT FULL". We read these words and that heart sinking feeling hit but I called on God and told Him to fix it. We are this far, right here, He can't get us this far and drop the ball. Not even 10 seconds later my phone began to ring and it was the airline site calling to confess to their mistake for letting the tickets we reserved get bought. But you see, the tickets we had reserved had us leaving on June 4th, arriving to the states on June 4th, driving for almost 8 hours, getting home at midnight or later, and then speaking at our first church June 5th. God isn't crazy... He knows that would kick our butts in exhaustion. 

So for $110 more... also we asked an amount from the friend and they gave us more than we needed… or did they? God knows!!! The tickets were purchased about 20 minutes later and we were set to leave on June 2^nd, the date we wanted to leave on the entire time.

Every little detail, like a date, or a cost, a time...details are so very important to God because we as humans want specific. Things have to be just right for us to be happy and our God knows this.

Job 23:10-12

"Because He knows the road on which I travel, when He had tested me, I’ll come out like gold. My feet stay where His footsteps lead; I kept on His pathway and haven’t turned aside. I haven’t wandered away from the commands that He has spoken; I’ve treasured what He has said more than my own meals.”