Today marks one week since made the big move to Corozal, Belize. It is hot and humid with one AC unit that we try to use periodically through the day. We have hot water, electricity, the home essentials, and even internet. We are living well and God has thoroughly blessed this transition. And yet, I still feel just as lost as I did when we prepping to come.
My sweet, precious baby. She has been a trooper in this move, and started to become a Mama's girl before we left. She likes to lay on my chest for comfort and let out soft, cute "hoos". Later, she will won't her 'ba-ba', a clean diapy, and a nap. We firmly embrace baby talk in our home. She depends on Mommy and Daddy to pick her up and comfort her when she's upset and/or in need. She's a baby; they're biologically programmed that way.
This afternoon after 'our' morning nap, we took a dip in our little pool to cool off. Afterwards, her and I came back to the room all cleaned off and fed, and she fell asleep on my chest. As I held her I thought of those who are so, so spiritually lost. I thought about those who so desperately need Mommy (the Church) and Daddy God to run to them, comfort them, feed them the bread of Life, and fill their thirsty souls. I thought about how so many are fighting the sleep God has to offer and freshness He brings in new life. I thought about how those who are lost, or maybe wandering, are fighting Him like a baby getting their diapy changed or wanting something that they don't need.
Even as a well-seasoned Christian, who has been through it and seen it, I am still very much a big baby in need of Mommy and Daddy. I still crave being bottled fed the Truth and love that is Christ Jesus. I still need to be picked up and held close and coaxed with shushes to calm down. I still need Jesus.
The last few weeks have been difficult as I desperately ask God to give me something - direction, vision, passion, word of encouragement - and yet, I feel like I'm sitting all alone by a lake listening to crickets chirp. Of course, there's that immature part of me that says, "Well, you've done it now. God has moved on to better things." Haha, silly, right. Thankfully, there that is seasoned part of me that reminds me that God is testing me and wanting me to stretch out of my comfort zone and grow. He wouldn't be wrong; He has allowed me time to cocoon for a while so that He could protect me through a healing process. He is so, so good!!
