Screwing up in this life makes me feel like a flea - I immediately feel that once someone has seen me they are continuously looking for me to make sure I am not anywhere else. I feel like if I move in any direction I will be felt and someone will push me away. Falling short of who we are supposed to be loosens the comfort we have with those that keep everything nice and cozy.
How are we supposed to live like that? People tell us all of the time, "Don't worry about the negative things people say. You don't need their approval, just God's." You know, I am THAT Christian, too. I want to encourage others that it doesn't matter. Jesus is Enough, and He is!
But how do we block out the hurtful stares, the harsh words, and physical feeling of being pushed away?
In devotion recently, God told me to go to Ecclesiastes 3. In the beginning of this chapter the author writes that there is a time for everything. This backs up the loved-by-all-Christians theory that everything happens for a reason. (Yes, I am THAT Christian, too, because I have witnessed this theory first hand on several occasions.)
Ecclesiastes 3:5
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
We so often want to get upset and offended when things do not go our way, or maybe someone has offended you with their priorities. What if for a moment we take a look at scripture (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8) and note the possibility that God is just doing something in fact for a reason. There is a reason why we feel that we are a burden, or as though we are receiving in turn feeling ashamed. Maybe you feel like it is impossible to be YOU.
Friend, I have been there. I am there. It hurts, it sucks, it messes with your brain because it those weak moments Satan comes at us hard... that alone could make you want to run and hide. "What will people think if they knew what went on up there? It is scary. I know that I have wanted to just build up walls, and told myself I would turn away any one new.
Thankfully, before those harsh walls went up God padded the insides with people of strong faith who have encouraged me to not be afraid. I think of Jesus' words to the disciples, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." Just because the waters are rough and scary we should not let it hinder our ministry. Fear is not of Christ, but of Satan, and he has already been defeated. Please do not let defeat, defeat you.
On March 10th God helped me answer a question that Him and I have talked about for a long time; years to be honest. I got my first tattoos, one on each wrist. The left says 'Enough' and the right says 'Qualified'.
Jesus is ENOUGH... and because He is Enough, I am Qualified. The Bible says in Colossians 1 "the Father who has qualified us to be partakes of the inheritance of the saints in the light." There is no screw up too big. God loves His children and hates our sin.
I wish I could say that I, personally, had a special fix to help anyone who is struggling with the shame, guilt, and hurt that they might feel. However, I can only tell you that your answer and comfort is found when you sit in that lonely room and talk to Jesus about what you are feeling. I guarantee you, though, He will hear you and will answer you in some form or fashion.
I pray that you no longer feel the rejection that the world wants to be rid of you. I pray that if you are reading this, and relate, that you walk boldly in the freedom and joy as you remember all that Jesus has given you. And for those of you who do not know what I speak of, well I pray that you don't have to endure this feeling... but if you do, I pray that you as well walk it confidently and encouraged that there is a time for everything.
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| Jesus is Enough. I am Qualified. |
