October 3rd began like any normal day. I knew I was either pregnant or going to get my period. I had already decided not to retest because, why have two negative tests? But, by 3pm that day I realized my body was giving me signs of something I couldn't comprehend. Tender breast, tired, and thirsty. I had also not felt like myself for over a week. All signs for what we are all thinking... am I pregnant?
We have been trying for four years. Four years of learning patience, acceptance, being told, "It's all in God's timing." Wanting to slap those people after the 5th time I heard the cliche. I learned and relearned patience.
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That was over 21 weeks ago. The test came back positive. POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST. In 21 weeks I have watched my body change in so many ways I have lost count. I have teased with friends that I am no longer in control of my body, which could not be truer. I have heard the sweetest thumping of a little baby's heartbeat. I have seen ultrasounds, and watched this beautiful baby inside ME, grow. SHE :) is growing. #wearegrowing That has been my cute #hashtag for our growing family on social media. We are growing in size (physically and figuratively), spirit, ministry.
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It has taken me so long to actually start and then complete this blog. What do I say that I has not already been said? What cute in-aweness can I deliver that another (finally) expectant Mommy hasn't?
At the beginning of this school year, just like last year, I prayed for a word that would describe my growth. I wanted growth. I would not avidly pursue it as I once did for many years, however, I would allow it to happen. I would welcome it with open arms and receive its transformation of spirit, body, and mind. Last year's word was freedom. God wanted to bring into the freedom I so craved from past mistakes. Freedom from every reason I consider were the reasons I was not getting pregnant. I mean, why would God bless us so incredibly we had issues to work out? That was in fact a blessing in of itself! This year's word has been delivered. Aren't those the same words? Well, why don't you ask the Israelites while they wandered the desert for 40 years FREE, but not delivered from their misfortunes and the strongholds on their lives, passed down from generation to generation. The 2 words are not the same, nor is the growth that is given from them. God wants me to be delivered along with being free. He doesn't just want me to leave sin and my past mistakes; He wants to deliver me into new life! And it just so happens that it took 7 years of marriage for this deliverance to happen... THANK GOD IT WASN'T 40!
Seven years. Seven. The number of completion. Not that my life is completed, but that God completed something in me and now it's time for something new. What Satan intended to use to destroy me, God made something new out of it! Healing has made me new. My marriage is new. My ministry is new. The eyes and heart that are seeing what God is doing in my life are.... new. This little girl, she is new!
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If you could teach your daughter ONE thing, what would it be?
There is truth and promise in God's Word. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that, "Therefore is anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old is gone, the new is here!"
She is here. She is growing. She is healthy, and we get to meet her in the newness of summer!
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| The sweetest heartbeat! |
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| Both images are many weeks old, but this is our girl! |
