No Time to Worry or Complain

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks.

Rejoice for everything. Rejoice when you are battling depression and social anxiety. Rejoice when you are getting news that you will need surgery. Rejoice even when you feel like a total failure as a teacher. Rejoice when your loved ones are suffering right in front of you. REJOICE. James 1:2

Pray without ceasing. Last year, when I first came across this scripture and read it in the context of be ready to go into battle with my sword (Bible) at my side and Jesus at all sides blocking off the enemy, I didn't know how hard it would be to live out those words. Pray without ceasing; pray when you don't even know what to say. Those moments when your brain is like a piece of A4 copying paper and you have no resources to make it say what you need it to. Or, when you are so numb to everything around you that you physically cannot make your mouth motion the words you want so badly to come out, and when you do try to speak, you find that your voice has retired too, leaving you croaking like a frog. Still, we are to pray without ceasing. How?!

Give thanks. Oh man. So God wants me to give thanks that I am having a difficult time? He wants me to thank Him for my loved ones suffering? He wants me to shout unto JOY in PRAYER and give THANKS that things just aren't going fantastic?! Or as my Jesus Calling devotional words it, "If you are serious about learning to pray continually, the best approach is to thank Me in every situation."

"Thank Me in every situation." 

This time last year, I was having a conversation with students that Mrs. Jenn thanked God for everything all the time and was praying all of the time. Mrs. Jenn can barely name the color of the shirt she is wearing. 

But to answer that question (He wants me to shout unto JOY in PRAYER and give THANKS that things just aren't going fantastic?!) ... Yeah, He does! Because He is the bread of life. He is the Beginner and Finisher of our faith. He tells our sufferings where to go and how long to be there. He is our Teacher, showing us His love in ways that He NEEDS to, not how we need Him to. He is our Father who gives us what we NEED, being the WONDERFUL  Jehovah Jireh, providing for us in ways we didn't even know was necessary. God is a mystery but His surprises make it worth it all.

Tonight as I type these words, my mind is still processing my day and attempting to prepare itself for the week to come. I also have a verse from devotion sticking to me. I have read it several times and still can't get my brain to focus on the words ...

Romans 15:13

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

He wants us to live in joy and peace. God doesn't give us unfortunate circumstances to make us stir and cause us grief. Excuse me while I be your typical Christian full of faith and wonder, but I am a firm believer "that everything happens for a reason". Again, I am full of faith AND wonder, so I do wonder what in the world God is doing, but I am also full of faith. The days that my wonder is getting hit by a whirlwind of doubt my faith automatically tells me that He is still holding the remote control and is aware of what is showing on my "screen," what is coming up on my "TV guide," and can tell when I have had enough and just need to be "turned off." (I have a thing for analogies, if you can't tell.)

One of our leaders uses a great reference from the Bible in all of His messages about salvation explaining that even the ole saint Apostle Paul rededicated his life to Christ every day. If he needed to, then I know I need to at least every five minutes ... I teach Bible to strong-willed fourth, fifth and sixth-graders.

So I challenge you to James 4:8 

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

and

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Please join us prayer for my upcoming surgery on December 2nd. 

Time and Place for Growth

Two year old tantrums in your 20's are something else, because you know your strength could break quite a few things, you know all the bad words and a few in other languages, crying is a terrible look on you, and anybody near enough to see or hear you thinks you belong in an insane asylum. I am not saying that I don't.... but, I digress.

My schedule has changed about 7 billion times, my sleep schedule hates me, my digestive system has been in cahoots with my lady systems, and my brain has been trying to escape it all.  I recently read a "Did you know?" little fun fact on Facebook that while sleeping between 3 and 4 AM your body does this weird thing where it basically dies.... oddly enough I am normally wide awake at around 3:30.... every. single. night.... does that make me immortal?!

This school year I am teaching Bible to 4th, 5th, and 6th grade students. Some classes are funner and easier than others, and the others force me to remember that I am a Bible teacher and there are some things I just can't say or do. I'm human. Overall, though, I have seen God work mightily like last year. He enjoys helping those He loves to grow, get uncomfortable, squirm in their seat... and He does not care if you have a temper tantrum. Well, I assume this is so because He sees me having them and He hasn't stuck me in a straitjacket.

"If you don't struggle, you won't grow." -- God spoke this to me last year and I have kept it near to my heart and shared it with others many times since. I am here to be an example, I mean, hello He has purposed me to teach His Word this school year... what?! So why am I struggling? Why does He have to make teaching His Word so hard? I have to walk into a classroom trusting that He is going to speak through me instead of me standing there just rambling about only HE knows what. But, if I don't struggle, I won't grow. If I am not convicted to be better in front of these students while teaching them, gaining difficulty while trying to teach about the greatness of our God, am I even doing it right?

Seriously, am I?

This has been... yes, a struggle for me this year as I applied for college and didn't get in... YET, as we learned my husband was denied a visa and we could be facing different cost and separation so we can resolve this, as I started doctor's visits to diffuse an issue (God is currently healing), as I work tirelessly to be there for friends who desperately need me, as I make lesson plans and pray to God that He will indeed use my notes to speak through me, and lastly, as I day in and day out try to accept myself for who I am and remember that I am not perfect.

I know there is a saying that there is "No rest for the weary." and God calls us to rest our weary head on Him (Matthew 11:28), but can a girl get a vacation soon?

I recently went to a Bible study that I did not want to attend, it's actually why I had a "little" tantrum as mentioned above. I'm an introvert, who suffers from social anxiety, and after teaching all day I would really love to come home and unwind and take care of my loved ones. But, nonetheless God had something He needed me to hear and so I gave Him an attitude and He gave me smile, pat on the back, and made sure I had a ride. Oh Jesus. *insert eye roll*
At this Bible study we discussed 1 Peter 3:1-6, and verse 6 in particular hit me hard. Let me note that this was at the beginning of the study.... God had me go for the beginning, errr... YOU couldn't have just given me this verse to read at home?

Verse 5-6
For in this way in former times the holy women  also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Do what is right without any fear. Do not give way to fear. For someone who never really struggles with fear, who completely trusts God all of the time because I know He works good things for those who love Him (Romans 8:28), my recent struggle has been fear. I still completely believe what I just typed, I trust Him because I know His promises, but I have been fearful of what those promises might actually be and if I will be okay with them. I understand that they will be good for me.... but no one asked me if I wanted those plans... whatever they are. In reading that God reminded me of my favorite verse in the Bible, Matthew 6:34,

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Jesus speaking)

My question for myself (and anyone reading this), what is there to be afraid of, or worry about when the God of all creation is perfectly designing our lives and has already revealed beautiful promises to us? You might be thinking, "I have desires, places in my heart that need to be filled, specific treasures that my heart longs for." Spoiler alert: Jesus knows. The cool thing about His plans is that not only does He know, but He will purposely put a change in your heart to fit what He has for you. Those things you desire, He will give them to you but in a way that you are TRULY going to love, because He knows you better than you know yourself. "I want it this way!!" But I/you don't.


Because a dear friend of mine is suffering from depression right now I want to extend this challenge I gave to her. I have challenged her to lay down all that she is carrying, giving up all control of the things she cannot change, and be willing to allow God to change her. Encouraging and reminding her that she is capable of these things because God has over and over made Himself real in her life and she has seen it with her own eyes. You have seen it too, whether you want to admit or not, we all have!
Lay down that stuff that is too hard to carry, surrender it back to Him, and allow Him to change you and your heart, especially concerning your desires.

"He has made me glad, O, he has made me glad! I will rejoice for He has made me glad!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jukcsdEUHU

It's Not Over

Lesson plans galore! Schedules hanging on for dear life to be regular! Meeting new teammates! Meeting new students! Watching God move! Seeing the excitement of students! Applying for college.......

I have been watching my days pass by as I prayed about my next blog post.  So much went on over the summer -- blessings, after blessings, after blessings! We worked tire-fully (you know opposite of tirelessly) to fund raise, speak to churches, visit family and friends, and also prepare for our coming back home (Bethlehem) and seeing the city and children we have come to love so much... all within 5 short weeks! And I love that even when you are busy working for the Kingdom, God still throws in a few obstacles to remind you to stay humble and seek Him. He's a GOOD, GOOD FATHER!

And He loves challenging those that He loves!

Our month of July we spent resting, preparing, ministering to children at a Summer Camp we ran at the school, and also ministering to those that needed a little extra help.

Now here we are in August and God still chooses to challenge us. "There's no rest for the weary." 

I recently came across a familiar Evangelist, John Gray, and I heard for the first time his message that is titled "It's Not Over". Because I love the way he spoke I decided to look up more of his messages and came across different sources that provided them. However, in the 3 times in the past few days I have found a video it was the exact same message just at different locations. At first I was a little thrown that in the whole WWW  I would find two of the same messages by the same guy. But, it wasn't over, because the next day I found yet another video. So for a third time, I sat down and watched the entire message, same references, same jokes, same everything. And I felt God tug at my heart over my recent prayers..... IT'S NOT OVER.

The challenge isn't over.

This school year I got asked to substitute for an incoming teacher, and once that was over I would go into teaching my classes -- Bible and also still running the Library. Well, for those who know me, they know that I am a bit of an over achiever. If  I am going to do it, I want to do it right because I like to feel proud of myself. In my devotion time I have been praying for motivation over myself in ONE specific area, and also praying some scripture over myself as well. 

God spoke to me in my prayer for this post and as I thought about what He has been teaching me recently, He said, "I don't just work in parts of your life, I work in your life." So while I am praying for motivation over in an important area for myself right now, God is motivating all aspects of my life. This turned into a very busy ME. I am an over achiever with a big servants heart and God.... well He poured a little Miracle Growth on that and I was going full throttle!

Colossians 1: 9-14

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of  God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of His holy people in the kingdom of light. For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

One of two scriptures I have been praying over myself, the other being 1 Timothy 4:12-16.

He has qualified us and says that we are worthy. Not only that, but He calls us to walk a life worthy of Him because He has qualified us. 

God sees your claim of disqualification and raises you to QUALIFIED.

It's not over.

In John Gray's message He references Lazarus' death and how it wasn't over for him, or sisters. They just needed motivation... a faith accelerator. 

John 11:4 

When He heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."

God will take us through tough times and challenges, not to harm us, but so we can see His glory!

John 11:1-44

God has motivated places in my life that I didn't think needed motivation, but in order for us to grow He challenges.

I challenge you for the next time you face a hard time, or even a moment that may seem challenging, remember that, that struggle isn't made to destroy you, it's made to strengthen you. You are qualified to handle whatever it is that God hands you, and.... It's not over.

If you like to watch the same message by John Gray:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxffDGY0mA0


Below I have attached a few photos from our Summer Camp:

They wrote their own stories.

Message and Worship -- prayer

We have FREEDOM in our worship!

Playing a game to see how many bubbles they could blow.

Year of (more) Expectation

Last year we started this journey with excitement, hopeful of the outcome, and ready to take on whatever challenges God threw our way. Completely unaware of what God might actually do in our lives and how He would forever change our way of thinking, responding, reacting, or even speaking.

Before the 18 hour trip last summer we got some encouragement with those who cheered on our courageous faith and wanted to live vicariously through our journey, and then opposition from those who thought this was nonsense and didn't believe that God would rock our world. Let me note that it doesn't get easier.

August 2015 I was ready and constantly imagining the lives that we were going to be a part of. I had our city "mapped" out in our head, and with me not being a geography buff... at all... I imagined that everything was in walking in distance, and it is, if you walk for days. You know how everyone in the Bible walked for days and hours to get to their destinations. The Bible came alive before my eyes. I still get all giddy and dance a little when I read something and remember that I have been there!
In fact, two nights ago I was reading in 2 Kings where the woman of the sick boy traveled to meet with Elisha and she had to go up to Mount Carmel. I have stood on Mount Carmel and took a selfie with one of my best friends back on Spring Break. How crazy is that?!

Another awesome thing that I am falling in love with over and over is GROWTH. God has not yet ceased to have me grow. Now, we are all aware of growing pains and how uncomfortable they can be. However, imagine feeling this pain in the core of your insides and not truly understanding what part of you is experiencing this growth. Last year there was growth of all kinds! Physical from walking to all of the places and up and down all of the hills. There was emotional growth as I felt the spiritual warfare around me, as I slowly began missing people in the states, and as I personally processed things that God was doing in me. And then spiritually... the things that happened spiritually were still are WOWING.  I am continuing to learn who I am in Christ, because my identity is found in HIM. I am continuing to at least try to understand what His purpose is for my life. The only problem with that is that God changes our purpose all of the time.


This year, however, God has already began working on me. He actually began doing things in growth before we came home for the summer. Over this summer, my growth in different places didn't stop either. God still did things and blessed, and He wowed, and He. Just. Did. Not. STOP! We enjoyed it, the travel, the flow of how God worked. Even losing a passport wallet, it was like it was supposed to happen because it flowed so well into the business that was already taking place. I find it funny how God acts that way, because we also got the passport and all that was needed before we departed from the states this summer.

Last year I came expecting so much and ready for all that God wanted to do, even though there were some painful times. God's work is SO awesome. This year I am praying for different things, expecting more things, and doing more things than last year. Because, once you see the things that God can do, why not expect even more and want more? Sure that means being hopeful and possibly having your feelings hurt when God doesn't do as you thought He should, but really, that just means that God is doing better than you thought He could. (Ephesians 3:20, seriously one of my most favorite scriptures)

My advice, pray in specific for things you want, expect things that could be out of your wildest dreams and ask God to work and make Himself real to you. I have no doubt that He will, but be ready to have your world turned upside down. You thinking I'm kidding, I'm not... You will find yourself singing the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. He will turn your world upside.


Here goes year 2!!!

Colossians 1: 9-14
For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power; for all patience and long-suffering with joy; giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. 

Only God: Part 2

You might be wondering why there is a Part 1 and 2 to this post update and the best and ONLY answer I can give is GOD. GOD has done some many amazing things here recently, yes I know, every thing God does is amazing, but as I noted in my previous post God takes our specific little details serious. Though He also likes to give us sweet little surprises and overwhelm us with His goodness! For those who are curious of examples (I am mostly giving examples because it is fun way to actually lead into what I am going to say ;)), sometimes God likes to surprise barren women with miracles, maybe a patient goes to the doctor and learns that they don't need that surgery that was going to cost them a fortune, or in my case God decides to surprise me with my Uncle I haven't seen in 17 years but looks JUST like my Daddy. It was so beautiful and has to be the sweetest gift I have ever received and I am still floored to this day.

My Dad died when I was 6, and I don't remember much about him except for how hard he and those around him fought the terrible cancer that took his life. People often ask me if I remember him, but I don't really and that is an insecurity I have to wrestle with. What are Dad's like, what is their purpose, and did my Dad fulfill his purpose while he was on Earth? I am very thankful that God has provided me with some amazing Godly men who have played different father roles in my life and been there to help me in times I needed it most, which is important for any child and coming adult. Fathers play a huge role in each person's life.

This past Sunday, June 5th, we spoke at my home church. I was super excited, because as my pastor pointed out that is the place that I finished growing up. That church has been and will always be my second home. As we arrived I kept myself as calm as possible allowing most of the excitement to radiate off of those who have kept up with our journey and were just as excited to see us; that was super hard though. Before church had started I had hugged so many necks, really I had squeezed the life out of some people, there was some tearing up, and a few quiet squeals.
My best friend had gone to talk to those in the lobby, my husband was checking out the mic and wires coming out of his shirt, and me and my mom just sat quietly waiting for a topic to come to mind so we could talk. I randomly decided to turn around and my brain that was already overwhelmed along with my heart nearly burst, because walking in the sanctuary was my cousin from my Dad's side of the family that I haven't seen in almost 17 years... since my Dad passed away. I also saw out of the corner of my eye was my Uncle.... and he looked just like my Daddy. Needless to say it took all of the service for me to really be able to look him in the eye.

God had brought me my Dad. I mean, he wasn't my actual Dad, but he looked just like him, may have spoken like him, but he definitely smiled just like him.

During worship I turned around to see him because I wanted to smile at and see if he would smile back. I did and he was already smiling. Alright God..........
I later had to get up on stage to share my part of our mission and time in the Middle East. I kept my eyes on the audience the entire time pacing back and forth to add more charisma. I looked to my family and he was smiling and even tearing up some. ........God........ You're making this hard, but I love it so much.
Finally after church and speaking with church family and friends I came to him and my mom, who by the way was just as shocked as I was with this visit from them, but definitely not upset by it.
He finally asked me if I was still scared of him, I laughed and told him I was never scared, but that he looked so much like Daddy and it was like God brought him there today so that I could have my Daddy with me.

Guys, God brought me my Daddy. That is how I am viewing this and God is allowing me to.

I began to cry when I told him that and my Uncle took me into a hug and we cried sweet reunion tears, and held each other. I imagined that I was hugging my Daddy and it helped that he was holding me just as tight as I was holding him. I didn't want to let him go and I can't wait to stop in Florida on my way out of the country to see him again.



This post was a little more personal than some, but my second goal in this blog is to share with you what God is doing in me and how His calling on my life is changing me.

Sunday, June 5th, on my husband's birthday, in my home church, I got to see a glimpse of my Dad, AND because God cares about every little detail (though I did not pray for this event), my Uncle told me after we hugged that he was so proud of me.

 He said, "I am so proud of you." Those very words are the words I have always longed to hear from my Dad.

ONLY GOD, can do the things I have seen done and I cannot praise Him enough for how He has planned out this trip to the states. He is good, good Father.

Job 23:10-12

"Because He knows the road on which I travel, when He had tested me, I’ll come out like gold. My feet stay where His footsteps lead; I kept on His pathway and haven’t turned aside. I haven’t wandered away from the commands that He has spoken; I’ve treasured what He has said more than my own meals.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for well-being, and not for calamity, in order to give you a future and a hope.

Also, guys, remember that faith the size of mustard seeds can move mountains. 

My Uncle and I (June 5, 2016)

Me and My Daddy (only picture that I own)

Only God: Part 1

My one big fear of returning to the states was losing everything I had gained while being overseas. I don't recognize who I am compared to the woman that went there in the beginning of August 2015. So much growth and maturing in my heart and in my mind has taken place. My big fear only grew when my faith started to shake and I could spiritually see this mountain side getting closer and closer to us and God wasn't budging or doing anything to help us. Was I supposed to climb it when I get there, was God going to "come in like a wrecking ball" and do that amazing, miraculous thing that God does? I got anxious that He had walked away, even though that is silly. God doesn't walk away from us, but He sure knows how to let us feel like it. Or do we just not trust Him enough? Hmm.  

My faith got shaken, but I still believed, but I was nervous of what He might be asking us to do, but I trusted Him, but my heart had its desires, but God had and still has a plan far greater than I could ever imagine. Every little detail is SO important to Him, when we make it known. 

*Here's a new lesson I am learning -- SPEAK life into every little detail.* 

He did it though, He kept His promise, He finished the work and HE met the desires of our hearts. Ephesians 3:20, Psalm 37:4

So much has gone on to get us where we are... We made it to the states!!! We are here, visiting, catching up with friends and family, working, and sharing about what God is doing in the area of the Middle East that we are serving in.

Over the past few weeks I have seen God move in ways I have never seen Him move, but ways I knew He could. I just simply haven’t seen it done before. But as a dear friend reminded me, Luke 1:37, Nothing is impossible with God. In that particular context God had just impregnated Mary with Jesus. Now, you may be thinking “Yeah, so He helped her get pregnant with a baby that would one day save the world.” Let me correct you, no, He didn’t. Mary didn’t want to be pregnant. She was about 14 years old and lived in a culture that is NOT accepting of pregnancies outside of marriage. Mary wasn’t married, she was only engaged. Along with having babies outside of marriage, it was extremely haram (meaning wrong in Arabic) to have sex outside of marriage. If you live in America then let me just say that we as Americans do a lot of haram things according to the Bible… biblically correct, not politically. So with all this being said, if God can get a 14 year old girl who lives in an area where it is culturally not acceptable to have even sex outside of marriage (because she could be shunned and even killed) pregnant WITH THE SON OF GOD at that, who are we to say that He can’t do the unimaginable like getting a couple of plane tickets? My GOD can do anything He wants and He does… if we allow Him to.

God provided everything we needed and did so with a week to get ready and we even got to bring a friend with us because God has provided for her in amazing ways as well.

FAITH. It is so much more important than we actually think. I look back over the last few weeks and I am in awe. If for even a second I had let that tiny thread of faith I was holding onto so tightly go… would I be home for 5 weeks? Guys, I am serious… in this blog I try to be as transparent as possible so you all can understand the importance of faith, but a lot of you will never get the big picture. I have stared faith directly in the eye with it looking at me with so much intimidation and had to choose whether to take it in knowing God was going to water that seed, or coward out and get my one foot I put into darkness back into the light where I can see what God is doing. Over and over again, since Christmas I have had to make that decision, but I can tell you now that God can do ANYTHING. He has never NOT done something that He knows we need Him to do. He KNEW we needed to come for the summer, and not just to raise support. He also knew we needed to be refreshed by our families and church families. He knew we needed to see Him and also have our love for HIS holy land grow even more. I want so bad to be back, but I know God is going to do some amazing things this month and next as we share our journey over the past 10 months and prepare for the kid’s camp we are going to do when we return.

The story of our plane tickets and how we got them…

We began praying in January that God would begin providing our way home, financially speaking. We let our prayer groups know what was going on and how they could pray. We spoke to those who had been supporting and began setting up fundraisers. Nothing was working out. Our friends couldn’t help us, our fundraiser fell through before it ever started, and we were not getting anywhere with planning. It seemed as though God had long closed the door of us coming home for the summer and it was only March. I remember telling a few friends while still praying and trying to give it all to God and waiting for Him to open up an opportunity that it felt as if we were in a car looking straight ahead at this massive mountain and going at a pretty decent speed towards it. I prayed, and read the word, and sought counsel and encouragement because I needed to know what was I doing wrong, or least not doing right. Why wasn’t God answering us and giving us some type of lead way with what to do. We weren’t getting anything. He wasn't speaking to us, and that my friend is a heart breaking feeling. My husband began having panic attacks and I began to feel unworthy, but we still chose God, mostly because we didn’t have anything but ourselves to choose. We were (and still are) leaning completely on God. Let me break this down for you, ALL WE HAVE IS GOD. That is it, no materialistic items, no financial riches, no rich families or friends.... GOD, that's it.

May came and every one’s questions began to get annoying. Family, friends, everyone was asking the same questions, “Are you going/coming home for the summer?” “Do you have your plane tickets yet?” “What are you guys doing for the summer?” We had begun making plans, because faith without actions is dead. We had some churches lined up and preparing to talk to, we had jobs ready, we had things we wanted to do and people we wanted to see… we were ready and at this point we had given the issue completely to God and just waiting for Him (but not so patiently).

May 27th came -- that morning Phillip went out to a grocery store to get a few items to make me a breakfast in bed, because ladies I married up. He ran into some of American teacher friends and one began to ask about our issues with getting home and before they went their separate ways the friend told Phillip to let her know if we needed help. Later that evening we got the random idea from a friend to look at tickets again, and we found some for a VERY cheap amount, round trip. We reserved them until we could pay and 30 minutes later we started the process to book the flights......... "FLIGHT FULL". We read these words and that heart sinking feeling hit but I called on God and told Him to fix it. We are this far, right here, He can't get us this far and drop the ball. Not even 10 seconds later my phone began to ring and it was the airline site calling to confess to their mistake for letting the tickets we reserved get bought. But you see, the tickets we had reserved had us leaving on June 4th, arriving to the states on June 4th, driving for almost 8 hours, getting home at midnight or later, and then speaking at our first church June 5th. God isn't crazy... He knows that would kick our butts in exhaustion. 

So for $110 more... also we asked an amount from the friend and they gave us more than we needed… or did they? God knows!!! The tickets were purchased about 20 minutes later and we were set to leave on June 2^nd, the date we wanted to leave on the entire time.

Every little detail, like a date, or a cost, a time...details are so very important to God because we as humans want specific. Things have to be just right for us to be happy and our God knows this.

Job 23:10-12

"Because He knows the road on which I travel, when He had tested me, I’ll come out like gold. My feet stay where His footsteps lead; I kept on His pathway and haven’t turned aside. I haven’t wandered away from the commands that He has spoken; I’ve treasured what He has said more than my own meals.”

 

Where is your faith?

Doubt. It is such a tricky little thing that can make you take your focus from your whole life and put it on one single subject. It makes you overthink everything you ever knew. It stresses things that aren't even relevant to the circumstance. Doubt. It consumes you, eventually leaving you numb, worn, tired, and feeling hopeless.

Psalm 23:2-3 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. 

Jesus longs to make His name famous.

The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." Rejoice always. We are to praise Him always, good or bad, no matter what... Rejoice. Pray without ceasing. I never realized how hard this was to do until the very thing I needed answers for wasn't being answered as I get closer and closer to really needing an answer. I grew tired of praying, I am still tired of praying... but, pray without ceasing. Don't stop praying. Keep praying. Pray when it hurts, and pray when things are looking good. Just pray. Don't know how to pray, then simply talk to God. That's it, talk to Him. Tell Him why you're upset, tell Him why this isn't fair, tell Him you need an answer. Cry out to Him. Whatever you do, just don't stop praying. IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANKS. In everything. In my finances, in my marriage, in my ministry, in my friendships, in my family, in my salvation, gifts & talents,  plans... the list could go on. Give thanks for it all, and surrender it!

Imagine with me if you will, having only God (and your significant other). God. That's it.
We sold all of our possessions to come to this land to do God's work. There is no home in the states waiting for us, no vehicles, nothing. God is our only source of provision. With out Him, our ministry isn't possible, we can't live without Him. He is ALL we have to lean on. FAITH. Faith without works is dead... but what happens when you have worked every angle God has given you and still... nothing. Doubt wants to creep back in and make you question your faith. Do I have enough? Well the word says that the faith of a mustard seed can move mountains (Matthew 17:20), I'm sure I have to have at least that much!

Right?

If I truly give it all to Him in trust and REALLY trust Him with all of it then I have no reason to doubt. I trust a simple chair to hold me up when I sit down in it. Why can't I give up everything to the One who created it all and me in the first place? He even created that chair I am willing to trust!

Doubt your doubts, Jennifer!

2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

 He has promised to meet all of our needs according to His riches in glory (Phil. 4:19). While they may not be met in my timing, they are met and done so according to His will for our lives. This is hard to swallow, but it's not for us to understand. We give praise, trust and love Him believing that He is going to work good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

I feel blessed that the devotions I am reading right now daily encourage me to trust Him. (I am reading Jesus Calling, if you are interested.) Scripture after scripture that speaks on trust and reminding me to everyday give IT to Him. All of it. I will push onward to the heavenly goal which is in Jesus. I will seek Him as He seeks me. I will grow weary and tired, but I will pray without ceasing.

Matthew 7:7 (Jesus speaking) "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find' knock, and it will be opened to you."

My prayers still haven't been answered and they may not, or maybe they have been and I have been too consumed by my doubts to see it. That happens, ya know?


If you are curious about you can pray for us you can use the following prayer list:
- guidance in our summer plans
- that we will continue to trust God as the summer gets closer with His plans
- that we see/hear every opportunity He gives us
- finances
- our families as we prepare for the summer
- our ministry

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.

We Will Overcome

"March 13 - Learn To Live above your circumstances (diagnosis of endometriosis). This requires focused time with Me, the One who overcame the world. Trouble and distress are woven into the very fabric of this perishing world. Only My Life in you can empower you to face this endless flow of problems with good cheer.  As you sit quietly in My Presence, I shine Peace into your troubled mind and heart. Little by little, you are freed from earthly shackles and lifted up above your circumstances. You gain My perspective on your life, enabling you to distinguish between what is important and what is not. Rest in My Presence, receiving Joy that no one can take away from you."
 - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

I didn't read this devotion until today, March 14th, after reading today's, which starts with "Do not hesitate to receive joy from Me, for I bestow it abundantly."

For 10 years (but more extensively in the past 2) I have prayed that God would prepare me to be a Mother, and to do that job to the best of my ability; an ability that only God can give. I have prayed for my husband that God would also prepare him to be a Father and Spiritual head for his children. I also prayed that when God allows us to begin that change in our lives that we would be ready together, excited together, bouncing that joy off of each other.
At the beginning of the year the conversation of trying came up and we decided that February would be the month because it timed out perfectly to be the earliest we could start getting pregnant and still travel as WE planned for the summer. That's how WE planned it. At the same time I began visiting the doctor so I could come to a conclusion of what was going on with me because things just weren't working as they needed to. I was later diagnosed with Stage 2 Endometriosis. I have shed tears, and then did what I do best and that is give it to God and move on (Phil. 3:12-14). Time is not stopping because of this, that's not how God works. But, because of the diagnosis I have noticed that my joy and excitement in trying has faded. I mean, we can still try, but it's unlikely we will conceive.

 "O you of little faith."  Yeah, I know, I am praying for healing.

My joy, excitement, it faded the moment I accepted that things were going to be harder. While it's okay to accept things as these, you know, I don't want to be in denial... but where is my expectancy? I came here with expectancy that God was/is going to do amazing things here and through us. Why does a circumstance in MY plan change that?

John 16:33 NKJV (Jesus speaking)
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

John 16:22 NKJV (Jesus speaking)
Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you."

"Rest in My Presence, receiving Joy that no one can take away from you." This sentence reminds me of the song Enemy's Camp, taking back what the enemy is trying his hardest to steal from me.

No matter what, my hope is in Jesus.... Psalm 46:10 NKJV
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

Today, I challenge you, give it to God surrendering ALL worry. Learn to live above your circumstance(s). They don't define the greatness that God is going to do in your life.

Philippians 3:12-14 MSG

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

Fill Me Up, Lord

The past few weeks I have been in kind of a dullness just waiting, but also growing impatient because my waiting lead me to not doing my devotion time and then growing blank. I couldn't think, focus, pray, read my bible. None of it, and I was not okay with that! I want to be doing daily devotions and I haven't even been able to concentrate long enough to think about doing one! I expressed this to a friend and had her pray for me and she is one of those friends my mentors have been praying for, because she always gives me a challenge. Me, being someone who is ALWAYS looking for ways to better myself in more than just one way, I take this kind of advice and challenges. I love advice and seeking counsel. However, a lot of times I get my advice from just watching others and how they do things. (Here's your reminder that people are watching you!! Are you giving them something to follow after?) This time my advice came when she sent me her schedule of all that she is doing throughout the weeks here, and it got me thinking... How am I spending my time? I mean, I am complaining that I don't have time to do a devotion, much less concentrate on it. So I followed after her and created my very short and simple schedule, and realized.... EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I am already praying for Bible studies, and when I am not focused on them I am have PLENTY of time to do my own. Not only did that give me a big perspective of my time, which hello, apparently I have plenty of! But, talk about a slap in the face. Needless to say I changed my routine of things immediately.

Last night my husband came home and told me about this conversation he was a part of including our Super's wife and their middle son. They were talking about how the days have been super long, and the son said that today (Tuesday) would be the longest day so far. His mother and my husband were both confused and asked why so, and he then expressed that it's like Christmas Eve, waiting for something. "Daddy is coming back with gifts!" (Let me note that his father and oldest sister have been in America for the past 3 weeks fundraising and recruiting for the school.) It wasn't until today during my devotion that God interrupted me and said, "Why isn't everyday like Christmas Eve? Everyday should feel like the longest day ever waiting for ME, your Father. If your days seem longer then you will want something to do to fill your time. What are YOU doing to fill your time, Jennifer?"

I honestly can't answer that without taking a moment of silence and pondering what am I doing to fill my time and make sure I am using every moment of what should be long days, wisely. Now, I am not saying that we should be running around with our heads cut off filling our time, but are we making time for Jesus, patiently waiting for Him to part the skies with the gifts (riches and glories) He has for us? When He returns, are we going to just be sitting here twiddling our thumbs, or will we be making a difference?

So, I challenge you, write down your schedule. What does it look like? Is there time for Jesus? Is there time to make a difference for the Kingdom? Even if it's just 30 minutes. Just make sure you're not letting other things take role as an idol in your life, things that could be hindering your relationship with your Father. Ask God to FILL you up, not just in the Holy Spirit, but also with a desire for your time so that you can spend it wisely.

Acts 20:24
But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

It's YOUR job

The past couple of weeks I have had my plate made for me, you know like when you were 10- and your mom would fix your plate at the all-you-can-eat buffet, but made sure it was portioned just right with all that you liked? God has been doing that to me.

God has called us all to be servants, not to be served... check Galatians 5:13. With that being said, God laid that calling on my heart at a very young age. I have always enjoyed serving others, whether it was my family, church, friends, or my husband. God has called/commanded us all to greatness.

In the past two weeks a friend of mine was re-injured and it affected an earlier injury from a few years back. Because of this I stepped up to the plate as a friend and co-worker and took over her work voluntarily. Also, I felt called to do it, you know, if I don't help then who can? Our school is low staffed with 40% being American teachers who volunteer. I also gave my word to help in anyway outside of school hours if she needed a meal, or an errand ran. I was and still happy to help!

A few days after this began, my husband then got sick. If any of you have ever known a man while he is sick, then you know the definition of pitiful, and what it feels like to lose all sympathy. (I am not a sympathetic person anyways! Ha!) But, our vows are "through sickness and health" like most marriages, so I gave myself day and night (literally through the night) as his care-taker, making sure he had everything he needed, and also taking care of his job while he was out of school.

If you are keeping up, that makes me doing my job at the school teaching Phonics to my 2nd graders and running a library, teaching a 3rd grade class for my friend, and also giving time to my husbands 6th graders who needed a teacher. Can you spell S-W-A-M-P-E-D? After a few days I was mentally and physically exhausted and didn't want to be wanted, especially by my needy, sick hubby.

On top of keeping up with all of that, I also had a personal life to take care of.

The day before yesterday (Monday) as I am headed home to a hubby who was getting over sickness, God asked me why it was I was doing all that I am? (let me add I also started a girls bible study for our 4th-6th graders this week, and I'm applying for college) It caught me off guard, because I'm like, "God, You know why I am doing it all. You have called me to be a servant. It's my job, and if I don't do my job then You will "fire" me and find someone else who will do the job...Your words says if I don't obey then You will say "I never knew you; depart from Me..."" (Matthew 7:23)
(fun fact: Tuesday while giving my friend's 3rd graders their Bible lesson this verse showed up; talk about God making Himself real!)

I NEVER, ever want to hear that, and I pray you don't either! I never want to be "fired" from a job/command that God has FIRST told me to do. I refuse to be like Moses and have my brother get the call.

John 14:15 
If you love Me, keep My commandments. 

1 John 2:3-4
Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 

Quoting a dear friend and mentor, "We have to be so careful..." not to throw God's commandments to the wayside. Not only is it disobedient as God's children, but it also makes our very jealous God angry. Our greatest obstacle is ourselves when we limit God and how He wants to work in us.

Exodus 4:10-13
Then Moses said to the Lord, "O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." So the Lord said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing or the blind?  Have not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say." But he said, "O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the few girls that came to the first Bible Study meeting.
(It's an all girl Bible study)

"Ursula"

Ephesians 3:20
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, [according to the power that works in us.]

The power in me is a power of healing. It is the same power that has performed miracles (Talitha Cumi; Luke 8:49-56), raising the dead to life (Lazarus; John 11:38-44). It is the same power that has power to give us financial support out of thin air. It is the same power that makes this journey possible, when in shouldn't even be possible. If THAT power can do all of that, then it can heal a 3.13cm, ovarian, Chocolate cyst, named "Ursula". Jesus bore stripes for this very reason. What Satan might want to use as a weapon to steal my joy will actually be the thing that draws me nearer to God. I mean, I serve a Jesus that rose AND conquered the grave! That is power!!(Luke 24)

I don't know what any of you might be struggling with, but take a moment and remember all the MANY things God has brought you through. He is a God that is for us. (Jeremiah 1:8)

James 1:2-3
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

His word doesn't say IF we fall, it says when. We are always going to face trials, some may be simple, one day trials; others may go on for months. I love that His word says to have joy, not because God is keeping tallies on your emotions, but because He wants our faith to GROW.  Will it still grow if we let our trials put us in the dumps, yeah, maybe, but not efficiently, and not with the perseverance you will need for the next one.

In verse 4 it says, but let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  Patience is a word and definition that I have not yet grasped as well as I would like to admit. However, it says let patience have its perfect work, because we all know that God's timing is perfect timing, and when it is His timing every thing is perfect and complete. It also says I will lack nothing. SO... when it's in God's timing it will be perfect, complete, and I will lack nothing.

.........WOW!!!

Maybe you have asked God to help you be more patient, and for that, I applaud you, especially if you handled the test He gave you like a boss. You deserve a standing ovation. I have asked for patience more than once, twice.... about 20,000 times in my 22 years, and each time there is a ridiculous test ( because God likes to test, and then show you the lesson ). I fail that test, every. single. time. So I learned recently, and by myself, to ask for peace and acceptance of what He wants. It worked. I felt peace immediately about what the outcomes could be, and I accepted it........

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.