I see Him take this ordinary piece of clay vessel to a stool and He begins adding holy water to it... He makes sure to drench it on the outside, while the inside runs over at the brim. Even with cracks, the brittle chipping, and the holes... His masterpiece is being refurbished in His presence. He smiles.
I sit with tears streaming down my face replaying this vision that God has been giving me over my own life. I see and feel my cracks. I get bruised and chipped by life's circumstances and there are even these big, gaping holes. No matter how much time I spend with Jesus, and it's a lot, I still feel dry and craving more. My insecurities tell me I'm not doing enough. Spoiler alert: I will never do enough, but that just means that our limitless God gives more. He's our Provider. And He holds me with pride and He smiles, and He wipes His hand over my rough edges to remove the dry dust that leaves me feeling gross and used up. Worthless.
This morning in my devotion I shared some hurt with Jesus and these words came to me, again, because they are words that He has given me before...
"Clean the cracks and replace the dirt with gold. Your glory."
Greatest part is that is already His goal! He wants to use our vessels to bring Him glory.
This last month I got to travel to the states to be at a friends wedding, visit friends and family, and to do some ministry within the American culture. Each morning I woke up and spent time reminding Jesus that He could use me as He saw fit. Reminder: He won't use what He doesn't have permission to use.
As I transition from my time there to being back in Bethlehem; my schedules are sorting themselves out, I still cannot bring to words the glory of God I got to witness in the month of December. In my best words, one of the most overwhelming parts was visiting a church that I had not gone to in 10 years. I took a friend with me to see Eddie James Ministry in worship - I LOVE TO WORSHIP and I found every opportunity I could to do so. Prior to even packing for the trip, God put on my heart to buy a onesie and pray over my future family, the baby that will wear that onesie, and the mother. He would guide me to who that mother is and pass on the onesie. I had an idea of what it would be like and how hard it would be for me, but I wasn't quite prepared for the magnitude and the fresh eyes of Jesus I would get to witness. Fast forward to the night of worship... I didn't go anticipating to receive this move of God in me; I was just there to worship my Jesus. Half way in I took the realization that I was definitely there for ministry to God who simply said, "Get ready." I returned to worship and looked up to see this woman worshipping. God told me then, "That's her." "Okay."
I couldn't have fathomed what was coming next. I went up to pray for her at the altar, and we were both praying in the Spirit. I knew immediately that something was going on, but I couldn't grasp it. Seconds later, my eyes closed in prayer, God guided my hand to her stomach however when I had knowledge of this, two things came to mind... 1) No way, this is not happening. 2) I know exactly what's going on here.
A minute later I had returned to my own worship, as had she, but then God gave me a vision of her. I had only had a small glimpse of this woman, but I could see her fully in my head. I could also see God wanting to fill her with His peace and He said, "It's coming." "....okay." I knew what to do.
Tears, tears, and more overwhelmed-by-His-glory tears... Nothing could have prepared me for her answer to my question, "What is this in reference to?" "A baby." I went to my bag, I got the onesie, and told her what I could through my speechlessness.
Later I learned that she has struggled with 27 years of infertility. WHAT?! God!!
How did I go from being a broken, dry vessel, to that... YOU used ME to do THAT? I say as I look at my right wrist for the 1,000,000,000th time, "Qualified."
I pray if you have read this testimony that you will allow God to begin to fill those unflattering places in your heart, mind, and body with His glory. I pray that His living water will drench you from your inside-out, overflowing at the brim. I pray that you will live boldly beyond all that the world wants to say towards you. I pray that no matter what life's circumstances have you bonded to a life of "ordinary" living will be broken. Jesus came to Paul and used him...
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say.
 The Onesie - 1 Samuel 1:27-28 |
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.
Pray for Samuel, and his Mommy and Daddy, Laurie and Wes.
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