The past few weeks I have been in kind of a dullness just waiting, but also growing impatient because my waiting lead me to not doing my devotion time and then growing blank. I couldn't think, focus, pray, read my bible. None of it, and I was not okay with that! I want to be doing daily devotions and I haven't even been able to concentrate long enough to think about doing one! I expressed this to a friend and had her pray for me and she is one of those friends my mentors have been praying for, because she always gives me a challenge. Me, being someone who is ALWAYS looking for ways to better myself in more than just one way, I take this kind of advice and challenges. I love advice and seeking counsel. However, a lot of times I get my advice from just watching others and how they do things. (Here's your reminder that people are watching you!! Are you giving them something to follow after?) This time my advice came when she sent me her schedule of all that she is doing throughout the weeks here, and it got me thinking... How am I spending my time? I mean, I am complaining that I don't have time to do a devotion, much less concentrate on it. So I followed after her and created my very short and simple schedule, and realized.... EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I am already praying for Bible studies, and when I am not focused on them I am have PLENTY of time to do my own. Not only did that give me a big perspective of my time, which hello, apparently I have plenty of! But, talk about a slap in the face. Needless to say I changed my routine of things immediately.
Last night my husband came home and told me about this conversation he was a part of including our Super's wife and their middle son. They were talking about how the days have been super long, and the son said that today (Tuesday) would be the longest day so far. His mother and my husband were both confused and asked why so, and he then expressed that it's like Christmas Eve, waiting for something. "Daddy is coming back with gifts!" (Let me note that his father and oldest sister have been in America for the past 3 weeks fundraising and recruiting for the school.) It wasn't until today during my devotion that God interrupted me and said, "Why isn't everyday like Christmas Eve? Everyday should feel like the longest day ever waiting for ME, your Father. If your days seem longer then you will want something to do to fill your time. What are YOU doing to fill your time, Jennifer?"
I honestly can't answer that without taking a moment of silence and pondering what am I doing to fill my time and make sure I am using every moment of what should be long days, wisely. Now, I am not saying that we should be running around with our heads cut off filling our time, but are we making time for Jesus, patiently waiting for Him to part the skies with the gifts (riches and glories) He has for us? When He returns, are we going to just be sitting here twiddling our thumbs, or will we be making a difference?
So, I challenge you, write down your schedule. What does it look like? Is there time for Jesus? Is there time to make a difference for the Kingdom? Even if it's just 30 minutes. Just make sure you're not letting other things take role as an idol in your life, things that could be hindering your relationship with your Father. Ask God to FILL you up, not just in the Holy Spirit, but also with a desire for your time so that you can spend it wisely.
Acts 20:24
But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
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